I have been bored to the point of forming clouds into shapes and counting the cars we pass. I try to ignore the sounds inside the car, which are all too familiar and aggravating. The squeak of the eraser against the paper has continued for the past half hour — shavings scattered across his lap and the car seats. “Why are you erasing a list that you just finished?” I ask him, utterly confused. “Because it is finished," he responds plainly. The ten-page notebook entry of all high school football teams in the US was gone soon after he added the last item. The shavings will be left to the leather seats of my mom’s car, forgotten about quickly. I have spent my life wondering how someone can dedicate so much time to a project, just to lose it by own choice. These minuscule, pink crumbs have driven my family and me crazy for decades. We will never understand how these remnants are the only evidence left of his work. I guess a psychologist could say something interesting about the impressed pages, but I’m not sure if the author thinks so deeply about his work. I have a hypothesis that he does not want anyone else to see his finished product, to steal the knowledge he worked so hard to gain, his treasure. After he completes a list, he can recite any fact on that topic, a genius. I hate to think that any previous sad souls could use the word “retarded” to describe such a brilliant brain. I have come to let him be himself and congratulate him on all of his achievements. His endless lists are a small part of the incredible being I know. His endless knowledge is guided by his note-taking skills. His ability to then deliver these facts is a tribute to his innate learning ability, something that will always leave me in awe. His comprehensive lists and insistent erasing habit lends itself well to the idea of creation and destruction, which are portrayed almost simultaneously as the lead edge quickly flips to the rubber side. More importantly, I think, is the fact that he is self-educated and able to research, record, and remember information within days. He is unbothered by the idea of destruction; for it is just as important as creation. He is a true testament to the abilities of people with Down Syndrome.
We are so blessed to know Jacob. We are humbled to be chosen as his family, we have learned true patience, to enjoy the simplicity of life, and we have been shown the deepest, purest form of love.
Jacob, you are what everyone needs more of.
Photo courtesy of Loren Gutierrez Photography
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Anna. You are an amazing gifted writer!