You’d see me

You’d say my hair was so long.

You’d ask if I graduated college.

You’d say I look happy.

I’d say I’ve only cut it twice since you left.

I’d say I did that and more.

I’d say I’m happy.

You’d ask how the childhood dog was.

You’d say my laugh sounds different.

You’d ask why I have that scar.

I’d tell you she’s dead.

Don’t you remember how pain works?

I’d tell you that you caused it. I wouldn’t mean it.

You’d look into my eyes and ask me their depth.

You’d ask how is my walk with the Lord.

You’d interrogate me about any new guys.

I’d tell you how they met a new darkness.

I’d respond that He’s carried me through it all.

I’d blush at you and scoff.

You’d see me.

You’d see me and ask all the questions.

And I’d just wonder why you weren’t there to witness it all.